These are real people, so it's not really fair to mock them - but I couldn't resist it either.
Man - 'Wow! Look at me wearing a suit and a shirt and tie (wife chose them). And I've got books and papers and I think I'm doing a pretty good job of looking like I understand all this stuff. What a happy family we are! What a patriarch I am!'
Woman - 'What a load of boring crap this is! Why do I have to be here? Why didn't I run away with that 'bad boy' all those years ago when I had the chance? I wish that just once - JUST ONCE - my husband would show a bit of spontaneity and rip my knickers off, give me some oral, and make me feel like a woman. Hmm, that big guy over there looks like he'd do that sort of thing ...'
Kid - 'I feel like a complete prat. What is this rubbish? But at least while I'm here the other kids in school aren't sticking my head down the toilet again. And I've just seen a young sister over there who accidentally showed her thighs. I'll hold onto that image for when I rub one out later ...'